So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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