If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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