How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
