I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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