I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
