1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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