so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
