Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
