Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
