sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
