Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
where am i from again
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
