I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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