There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
