he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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