...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
