she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
