I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
