we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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