So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is wine microwaveable?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
