I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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