Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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