East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
