I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
