Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
