there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
