youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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