no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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