I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
