I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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