Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
