Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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