he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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