i was born a porn star she said
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
