I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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