My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
