you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
