And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
