either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
