she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
