worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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