i just made my gag reflex go away.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
