Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
