Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
