I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
