yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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