Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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