JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
