I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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