I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
