Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
