if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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