Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just had sex on a roof
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
